It’s Not You! But …

We heard this a lot in a drama. Usually, it’s in a break-up stage. Actually, this can be applied everywhere don’t you think?

A month ago I attended an alumni event in my alma mater in which they offered several sessions there. I came in and was the only one who is not doing my honors, masters, or PhD there. They were talking about entrepreneurship, about how to take chances and develop something different, to be brave and offer your ideas to the market and to be a good consultant. Experiences are important for someone to work in a good company as it will be your asset. I have met some people who are super smart but they don’t have the required soft skills or they have great soft skills but they are not really experienced and not working in the related industry.

When you are assessing these, at times we hope everyone is balanced. The ideal situation would be those who are super smart should be experienced and are outstanding in using their skills. As for those who are not as bright, they should be able to work harder. I think it’s fair to have one aspect is stronger than the other and so you will be able to survive. If one has all the perfection then it’s not fair for those who are not doing so well.

Also on top of that, I realised how unique every individual is. Each person will have different knowledge, was exposed to different culture and even environment and norm as well as having different interest and also has different expertise. Everyone certainly has their own key skill. What I am interested in might be different from yours. You might think I am weird because our focus and interests are not aligned, and what I’m doing is different from yours. As for me, I might also think you are also different from me. That’s why I said every individual is unique. We are not supposed to label them and should embrace the differences.

Especially being at a quite young age and not fully developed, I think it is normal for us to not able to fully decide what do we want in our life. Do you still want to pursue the career you’ve always wanted or you came to realisation that it’s actually not the right path for you to take? It might not be something that you find your interest in. Even lots of people changed their major half way through. Some of them even are not doing in the industry. They prefer to do something else. Continue reading “It’s Not You! But …”

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Storyline

Exactly one year ago, I started my writing journey at WordPress. Long before that, I was wanting to make my own blog. No purpose, no goals, did not know what to write but to give a bit of inspiration to other people. Choosing Speak Up My Opinion theme because I have been wanting to make a platform where I can really speak up about what I think.

Here’s a storyline. Puzzle pieces about what I think.

I have a student-turn-to-friend that I have been helping with in the past 1 year or so. She was struggling with her uni subjects. Sometimes she just need some deeper explanation, and sometimes a lesson to clarify some test questions. In my eyes, she is a very sassy girl. She will get what she wants. She will not stop until she gets the right answer or if she thinks the answer given to her makes sense.

She is the kind of girl who if you’re late, she will be annoyed a lot, but she does not want to pass her sickness so she canceled her lesson time to another day. One day, it was nearing her mid semester test, she texted me if I could give her another private tuition to clarify some of the materials. After the lesson she said she needed to rush to go to her work and I asked her what is she currently doing or where is she working at.

Surprisingly she said she is a nanny. She takes care of the children and pick them up after school and also in some other times, she will give assistance for disabled people too! I was so surprised and really did not expect that coming from her. She said she loves children and more than happy to help other people in need of her help.

That sassy girl turns out to have a very gentle heart. She was genuinely pissed off (because of the requirements) when I said I have problems with my visa extension and all, and asked me if I could go to find other ways to fight for my staying permit. Sometimes she does not agree with the regulations too.

If I’m reading a book about her, it really surprises me of how she can be very genuine and is doing good deeds even though she is super sassy.

Another story would be about my other friend. She used to study in Australia for one semester, just as an exchange student for one semester. She has a most loving smile, and always seems so happy in whatever situation. I used to see her as a small kid, and she went back. Time flies so fast and it’s now been 2 years since she left Australia and made a come back. She visited her friends and I can see how she is different now, to become an adult version.

She shared her part of the story. She studied biomed and after she graduated she was offered a lifetime position as a researcher. Just after a month working in the lab, she gave up the job. It was underpaid, but the most important thing is she did not even get the time to really have a proper break when she was a researcher. Thirty minutes were given to her for lunch break, and she could not even had a proper lunch. Life was so tiring, and she was not happy and satisfied at all.

Until one day she told her parents that she wanted to quit working in the lab. Her parents did ask why. She was not happy. So she decided to really quit. After quitting, she wanted to become a music teacher. I know she can play piano and she even took a masterclass before so I’m sure she is capable in being a music teacher.

She said the pay is not as great as becoming the researcher, but she actually enjoys it and really love her current job. Pay is not really something that she is focusing on but to help the kids and the students to really grow and play some beautiful music is what she is after.

In the end, she is happier this way. Maybe her biomed degree is not really contributing much now. Not really becoming the main focus of her life, but we’re still young anyways. I have my own anxiety. I don’t know what will happen to me once I’m back to my home country. What kind of role that I’m going to take, what kind of projects I would handle, what my schedule is going to be like.

Even with the uncertainties, when it’s the time for us to go through it,  we will pass different kind of situations. If there are opportunities and we dare to take the risk, we might stumble upon interesting experiences or roles that will be our main doing in upcoming years.

Everyone is operating in their own “time-zone”. Some people will be hired just after the graduation day,  but some will take a bit longer to get a job. Some others will become a CEO and managing a very successful business in a very young age and may not have time to try some silly stuffs in which some others might be rich of life experiences but become a CEO a little bit later in life. It is very unexpected but this is life. The purpose is just to have fun and to make yourself happy.

I found this comic and read it through after work. Truly the purpose of life is to have fun and to spend time with your loved ones – Point. So be happy today and enjoy your life!

 

A Pair of Hand

Humans are given two hands to operate and live the life. However, not everyone is perfect. Some of them are only given one hand by God, and some lost their hands because of an accident or disease or other reasons, not given any.

Given the pair of hand given, it does make everything easier to handle compared to having only one hand or no hand at all. BUT, it is not a solid answer to say “those who are not ‘completed’ cannot do anything and are weaker than those who are completed”. Hey! I have seen a lot of people do even a lot better than normal humans! They created amazing artworks using their mouth or other parts of the body. Some of them even entered a Paralympic and won! They are great athletes, great artists, great human being. They inspired others through their disabilities and it is AMAZING!

These people even have a higher living spirit and strive to do even better and better and better. They keep on improving and keep on overcoming their challenges. I know everyone has their own story, has their own problems they have to encounter and solve. Unfortunately, most of the people take things for granted. We have two hands and a complete set of the human body but we are still complaining about life and give up easily.

Speaking of a pair of hand, I recently talked to my good friend that has been living together with me since 3-4 years ago. She has completed her bachelor degree, so CONGRATULATIONS to you girl! In the past, we argue a lot because both of us have a strong character. We had different opinions and when we look back to the first semester when we met, we are completely different persons now. We have changed, we grow together, we improve together, and we overcame our own problems too. We collided a lot and naturally, it just fell to its place and we became good friends.

We are both international students that came to Australia to study. Now both of us are graduated (she definitely passed the study requirements!), it feels different. We are having a different path that we have to take. We have to part our ways. It does not mean that in the future we cannot meet up or be involved in each other’s life. It’s just a bit hard because we are originally not from the same country and with a different environment, it will be hard to relate to one another and tell the stories.

I learned a lot from her and she also made me who I am today. Just recently we had a good late night talk and discuss where life would take us. I told her I wish we all could stay living near each other (and she is just living in a neighbouring country – not like she is living on the other side of the world LOL) and share stories and do what we’re currently doing. I know it’s unrealistic and I know it’s time for us to take a different route.

So here we are …

I asked her what it would be like in the next 5-10 years? Would our friendship still be the same? Would our current close friends in 2017 still be around in 2027? What our life would be by then? And she said, well it takes two hands to clap. If the other one is not making an effort to clap the other hand, then you are not able to make a clap. It’s the same as having a high-five.

You are there offering your hand to your friend to make a high-five but if you’re ignored then your hand will not be welcomed and your effort will be wasted down the drain. It’s the same as friendship. Good friends will stay no matter what. I can prove that. Another college friend went to the same uni but in a different country and up till now, we’re still friends and still share things. True it’s not as intense as before but both of us make the effort to keep the friendship and so we are still here.

No matter where life takes us if you are still making the effort to stay in touch with your mates, family members, and (ex) colleagues and the other party is also making the effort then clap together. Get that high-five! Pat each other on the back and say “hey friend, well done”.

*This post is dedicated to a good friend of mine. Thank you for the friendship. Lessons learned. Keep on improving. Keep on striving. Keep on smiling and enjoying the life like the way we are currently doing now. Goodbye is always hard and so here you go: Goodbye. Stay in touch and take care! 🙂

 

Do You Remember Me?

I went back home to visit my family when on one of the evenings I went to the nearest cafe and on the way home I met this childhood friend of mine. Our house is actually just 5 houses apart. We went to the same primary school and we were good friends until we completed our sixth grades. Starting from the year seven onwards until we finished our high school, we went to different school.

We also have different beliefs but it is not a barrier for us to be friends because diversity is great! Our parents also know each other as we’re neighbours. Once a year, we take turns to send a gift to respect each other especially during Hari Raya (the events celebrated by religious people such as Christmas, Eid Mubarak, Vesak, etc).

We grew apart because we never meet each other and because we did not attend the same school anymore, so we stop exchanging gifts. When I saw him, I was surprised at how he looks like. He looks the same as he did 10-15 years ago – it’s just his hair is now longer. I was wondering if he remembered me. True we were good friends but that happened when we were so young.

While I’m currently considered as someone from Generation Y, the situation is completely different from people from Generation X. Take my parents as an example, they are still close with their childhood friends though they are not living in the same area as they did when they were kids. They still hang out together just to have some meals together and catch up. Even the cohesiveness of the group is still very tight! Hundreds or even thousands notification appear from the group chat every day, I repeat, EVERY FREAKING DAY is just normal to happen.

To me now even it’s hard to talk to my childhood friends. We still share the same bond because we grew up together, but things changes as always. We are not living in the same neighbourhood, not attending the same uni, not working in the same corporation, and some of us are not even living in the same country. It’s just funny how things work (maybe) better back then during my parents time.

 

Sometimes I’m wondering what will happen to our friendship?

Would we be able to talk to one another and share what is happening in our life like today?

Or are we going to grow apart and will not work on our friendship?

 

It takes two hands to clap. If the one hand is not welcoming the other hand, then you’ll be hanging until the other one is ready. Well, it’s not really worth your effort if even after so many times trying your hand is not welcomed by the other one.

We may not remember what happened in 2017, but sure we will remember some of the good times!

How Hard Is It For You To Understand?

Been working as an academic is great. I am able to meet a lot of new people, have more opportunities to explore and to learn about human behavior and also to keep up with the current trend.

However, sometimes I still don’t get what’s on their head. How people actually function. Do they use their logic more or feelings more? Do they also put their ego over other people? Why are you so selfish?

It’s not me trying to complain but here I am to understand and to tell what I do think about it. As an academic, sometimes I do get an email from a student who needs clarification of a material which is normal and here what I’m for. Also, some others asked me to put them into a group for group assignments and all. They demand the reply straightaway as if they’re texting their mates. In the working life, if you are lucky and if the other person is able to make a reply, you can expect to get your answer within the next 24 hours or the next working days.

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What I meant by working days is normal working days which is Monday-Friday up to 5/6pm. Don’t expect us to reply you within the next hour if you emailed us at 8pm on Friday night. Well, academics are human too. We have our own personal life. Yes, we are meant to take care of our students but do you actually realise that we also have other commitments and have other things that we need to look after too? Continue reading “How Hard Is It For You To Understand?”

A Man Of His Word

Nope, I’m not talking about the book series by Dave Duncan – I haven’t read the books myself. This is something that I really find it interesting and the value that I hold since I was young.

My grandpa was a strict man. I lived together with him since I was born until I moved to Australia to pursue my bachelor degree and he went back to heaven.

Anywayyy, my grandpa taught me to always follow the rules. One of the rules is to always keep my word. Don’t give empty promises. If I promise to come to a meeting then I will come on time. I rarely take things for granted so when I was younger I had a lot of disappointment because I trusted people’s word. I thought if they promised that they will come or to do something, they will do. In the adult world apparently, it acceptable to miss the deadline or to give away empty promises. The answers of an invitation could only just because it is a courtesy for you to answer the question now so just he/she won’t bother you with another question or nag then ask you to come.

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That’s maybe an easy way out but hey you cannot treat everyone like that always. People have their own limit and by keeping on repeating what you’re not supposed to do will create a certain image – not a good one I would say.

I have been dealing with lotsa friends that said he/she will come to have dinner together told us to lock the date but just a couple of days before the meeting, he/she will suddenly disappear without saying anything. That’s annoying. I might be able to do something better or to make an appointment with another person instead or even to have some rest. Why bail out at the last-minute?

Continue reading “A Man Of His Word”

Summer Days And What To Do With Them

Some tips to enjoy the holiday! 🙂

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This’ll be a pretty straightforward one, so sit back, relax, and (hopefully) enjoy! Over here in the Pacific Northwest, the days have been getting significantly longer and people have been complaining less and less about the all-too-familiar Washington rain. I can’t complain one bit. The state’s beautiful with terrible weather, so you can imagine how things go when the clouds decide to stay home.

So this is only my second post here, but if there’s one thing you know about me, it’s that I love trying new things. Therefore, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you to go on a hike or hit the beaches. Literally, everybody and their mother knows what to do on a sunny day. However, if you’ve never been to a certain view or splashed around at a certain beach, by all means, go there. No plans, though? I’ve got you covered.

I don’t mean…

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Observation vs Reality

As a person, I am someone who prefers to observe the situation first before making any move. Ever since I was a kid, before I decided to be friends with anyone, I will keep an eye on that particular human being and see what sparks my interest. If after going throughmagnifying-glass-203x300 all my judgment, he/she is not a harmful person, then why not be friends.

You know not everyone could be friends with every single person they have met, and I am one of them. Let’s say when I’m filtering your attitude and manner and actions then I find out that you did something that I don’t particularly agree with, then I will take a step back to re-evaluate what have happened. If you are doing something that could turn over the table, then let’s talk so I will be able to know you better!

Sounds so weird, geeky and very judgmental? Ah well, that’s your own judgment and conclusion. To me, that’s just because I am trying to be careful and to protect myself from harmful pieces of stuff.

Alrighty-o so why do I want to talk about observation?

Continue reading “Observation vs Reality”

Walk With Your Mind, Run With Your Heart – Benjamin Kheng

Just a couple of days ago before I went to bed I came across this video. I rarely watch TED Talks in the past few months and to me to really understand the content I gotta spend some time to really listen and must have the willingness to understand.

I can understand jokes or memes quite quickly but to understand and being engaged to serious stuff – especially those in which I don’t even retain the basic of knowledge of it but do have an interest in – will definitely take some time and a good amount of effort to grasp the idea.

So here we go…

I’m into song covers and one day I listened to The Sam Willows from Singapore and they are good and talented. Then not long after that, I searched about who they are actually as well as their current projects and one of the members really caught my attention. He is Benjamin Kheng, ¼ of The Sam Willows. He was featured in some of the videos made by popular YouTubers like Wong Fu Productions and LeendaDProduction and has a soothing voice and a good-looking face too (bonus)!

Then I watched two web series by Tree Potatoes and Ben was the main lead there too. Just because of these reasons, I decided to watch the TedXYouth to know more about Ben, also was curious what sort of experience he was about to share.


Walk With Your Mind; Run With Your Heart – Benjamin Kheng

Long story short, I went to YouTube again and remembered that I haven’t finished watching the video so re-watching it sounds like a good thing.

It really struck me hard especially those towards the end at around minute 19.00 point.

“I still hear the noise, I still fight the demons. But it gets better every day. Bob Marley has a quote: people will always hurt you. You just need to find the ones worth suffering for.”

“What about you? What do you wanna be? What kind of legacy do you wanna leave behind?”

I’m always reminded to leave a great and memorable legacy and here I am being asked such a question makes me think even harder of what am I capable of doing to do good deeds? To leave a great legacy?

Not long after that, he said “Work your butt off and LEARN WHAT YOU NEED TO LEARN! Get up on that stage with your heart and run. Walk with your mind and run with your heart”

Someday in the future when I look back, I know I will be able to find my way to get to my destination. We are the main lead of our own life story and we are also the writer. Make the most outta it.

Another quote from Ben Kheng: make peace with your heart, and you will always be rich.

Closing One Chapter

Usually, around this time of the year, I am very busy with a lot of things going on in my life. It’s starting since 2015 when I first joined the choir in my church, and ever since then, I started to sing regularly every Sunday.

Those people in the choir have become my friends, my family, and my shelter. I spend a lot of time with them and I don’t really mind doing work for them if it’s really necessary. Most of the time I will be with this second family as my family is back home.

During Easter, as a Catholic, we usually have what we call it a Holy Week. It’s that time of the year where we are preparing our heart and to mourn and “reborn” as a new and better person. Every single year, the admins will be exhausted to prepare everything to run smoothly. This year is no different and we prepared a trip to go to Gippsland in Victoria after Easter to bond with other members of the church.

As one of the organizers, my friends and I spent a lot of time together. We tested the game, keep on updating our budget and to get the timing correct for every single activity we were going to do there and prepare the food and logistics. While spending a lot of time with them frequently, there is an attachment feeling whereby it felt weird when I went back home again and be by myself again. I’m so used to wake up and see them straight away, or to have our meals together, or to queue to shower and brush our teeth.

It feels like we have to go back to reality, to deal with our assignments and works again. Though we end up trying to even stay back to have meals together whenever we can, it still feels a bit weird. Continue reading “Closing One Chapter”