Usually, around this time of the year, I am very busy with a lot of things going on in my life. It’s starting since 2015 when I first joined the choir in my church, and ever since then, I started to sing regularly every Sunday.
Those people in the choir have become my friends, my family, and my shelter. I spend a lot of time with them and I don’t really mind doing work for them if it’s really necessary. Most of the time I will be with this second family as my family is back home.
During Easter, as a Catholic, we usually have what we call it a Holy Week. It’s that time of the year where we are preparing our heart and to mourn and “reborn” as a new and better person. Every single year, the admins will be exhausted to prepare everything to run smoothly. This year is no different and we prepared a trip to go to Gippsland in Victoria after Easter to bond with other members of the church.
As one of the organizers, my friends and I spent a lot of time together. We tested the game, keep on updating our budget and to get the timing correct for every single activity we were going to do there and prepare the food and logistics. While spending a lot of time with them frequently, there is an attachment feeling whereby it felt weird when I went back home again and be by myself again. I’m so used to wake up and see them straight away, or to have our meals together, or to queue to shower and brush our teeth.
It feels like we have to go back to reality, to deal with our assignments and works again. Though we end up trying to even stay back to have meals together whenever we can, it still feels a bit weird.
Just after I got the time to rest and in silence, I thought of what happened in past a couple of weeks. What I have been through is very precious and if I could turn back the time, I’ll do stuff in different ways. Might sleep a lot for days so I would have a lot of energy to be spent during the trip.
Also during my detox time, I thought back and I decided what have happened really made me grow into a stronger person. To be able to handle things better, to have a better anger management, to let go of things that will not work out, to laugh at things that are not worth to be mad at and to accept things that will not always go as I wanted.
I have become a stronger person by admitting that failure is not something that will embarrass me, instead, it will teach me how to do things better. To not hold onto something that will not work out even after I have tried thousands of time. Sometimes, perseverance will not bring you anywhere and at some point in time, you gotta make your own decision whether you still want to proceed with what you’re currently dealing with or to make up your mind and decide to move on with your life. You know you deserve better things.
So here I am closing another chapter of my life. Thanks for teaching me that being brave is not an embarrassing thing. Instead, with all of the courage I had, I am able to learn new things and to give myself chances to see the life in a different perspective, in a beautiful way.
As long as you’ve tried your best and have given all, you should not feel regretful. Now am ready to flip over the page and enjoy the new adventure!