It’s Not You! But …

We heard this a lot in a drama. Usually, it’s in a break-up stage. Actually, this can be applied everywhere don’t you think?

A month ago I attended an alumni event in my alma mater in which they offered several sessions there. I came in and was the only one who is not doing my honors, masters, or PhD there. They were talking about entrepreneurship, about how to take chances and develop something different, to be brave and offer your ideas to the market and to be a good consultant. Experiences are important for someone to work in a good company as it will be your asset. I have met some people who are super smart but they don’t have the required soft skills or they have great soft skills but they are not really experienced and not working in the related industry.

When you are assessing these, at times we hope everyone is balanced. The ideal situation would be those who are super smart should be experienced and are outstanding in using their skills. As for those who are not as bright, they should be able to work harder. I think it’s fair to have one aspect is stronger than the other and so you will be able to survive. If one has all the perfection then it’s not fair for those who are not doing so well.

Also on top of that, I realised how unique every individual is. Each person will have different knowledge, was exposed to different culture and even environment and norm as well as having different interest and also has different expertise. Everyone certainly has their own key skill. What I am interested in might be different from yours. You might think I am weird because our focus and interests are not aligned, and what I’m doing is different from yours. As for me, I might also think you are also different from me. That’s why I said every individual is unique. We are not supposed to label them and should embrace the differences.

Especially being at a quite young age and not fully developed, I think it is normal for us to not able to fully decide what do we want in our life. Do you still want to pursue the career you’ve always wanted or you came to realisation that it’s actually not the right path for you to take? It might not be something that you find your interest in. Even lots of people changed their major half way through. Some of them even are not doing in the industry. They prefer to do something else. Continue reading “It’s Not You! But …”

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A Pair of Hand

Humans are given two hands to operate and live the life. However, not everyone is perfect. Some of them are only given one hand by God, and some lost their hands because of an accident or disease or other reasons, not given any.

Given the pair of hand given, it does make everything easier to handle compared to having only one hand or no hand at all. BUT, it is not a solid answer to say “those who are not ‘completed’ cannot do anything and are weaker than those who are completed”. Hey! I have seen a lot of people do even a lot better than normal humans! They created amazing artworks using their mouth or other parts of the body. Some of them even entered a Paralympic and won! They are great athletes, great artists, great human being. They inspired others through their disabilities and it is AMAZING!

These people even have a higher living spirit and strive to do even better and better and better. They keep on improving and keep on overcoming their challenges. I know everyone has their own story, has their own problems they have to encounter and solve. Unfortunately, most of the people take things for granted. We have two hands and a complete set of the human body but we are still complaining about life and give up easily.

Speaking of a pair of hand, I recently talked to my good friend that has been living together with me since 3-4 years ago. She has completed her bachelor degree, so CONGRATULATIONS to you girl! In the past, we argue a lot because both of us have a strong character. We had different opinions and when we look back to the first semester when we met, we are completely different persons now. We have changed, we grow together, we improve together, and we overcame our own problems too. We collided a lot and naturally, it just fell to its place and we became good friends.

We are both international students that came to Australia to study. Now both of us are graduated (she definitely passed the study requirements!), it feels different. We are having a different path that we have to take. We have to part our ways. It does not mean that in the future we cannot meet up or be involved in each other’s life. It’s just a bit hard because we are originally not from the same country and with a different environment, it will be hard to relate to one another and tell the stories.

I learned a lot from her and she also made me who I am today. Just recently we had a good late night talk and discuss where life would take us. I told her I wish we all could stay living near each other (and she is just living in a neighbouring country – not like she is living on the other side of the world LOL) and share stories and do what we’re currently doing. I know it’s unrealistic and I know it’s time for us to take a different route.

So here we are …

I asked her what it would be like in the next 5-10 years? Would our friendship still be the same? Would our current close friends in 2017 still be around in 2027? What our life would be by then? And she said, well it takes two hands to clap. If the other one is not making an effort to clap the other hand, then you are not able to make a clap. It’s the same as having a high-five.

You are there offering your hand to your friend to make a high-five but if you’re ignored then your hand will not be welcomed and your effort will be wasted down the drain. It’s the same as friendship. Good friends will stay no matter what. I can prove that. Another college friend went to the same uni but in a different country and up till now, we’re still friends and still share things. True it’s not as intense as before but both of us make the effort to keep the friendship and so we are still here.

No matter where life takes us if you are still making the effort to stay in touch with your mates, family members, and (ex) colleagues and the other party is also making the effort then clap together. Get that high-five! Pat each other on the back and say “hey friend, well done”.

*This post is dedicated to a good friend of mine. Thank you for the friendship. Lessons learned. Keep on improving. Keep on striving. Keep on smiling and enjoying the life like the way we are currently doing now. Goodbye is always hard and so here you go: Goodbye. Stay in touch and take care! 🙂

 

Do You Remember Me?

I went back home to visit my family when on one of the evenings I went to the nearest cafe and on the way home I met this childhood friend of mine. Our house is actually just 5 houses apart. We went to the same primary school and we were good friends until we completed our sixth grades. Starting from the year seven onwards until we finished our high school, we went to different school.

We also have different beliefs but it is not a barrier for us to be friends because diversity is great! Our parents also know each other as we’re neighbours. Once a year, we take turns to send a gift to respect each other especially during Hari Raya (the events celebrated by religious people such as Christmas, Eid Mubarak, Vesak, etc).

We grew apart because we never meet each other and because we did not attend the same school anymore, so we stop exchanging gifts. When I saw him, I was surprised at how he looks like. He looks the same as he did 10-15 years ago – it’s just his hair is now longer. I was wondering if he remembered me. True we were good friends but that happened when we were so young.

While I’m currently considered as someone from Generation Y, the situation is completely different from people from Generation X. Take my parents as an example, they are still close with their childhood friends though they are not living in the same area as they did when they were kids. They still hang out together just to have some meals together and catch up. Even the cohesiveness of the group is still very tight! Hundreds or even thousands notification appear from the group chat every day, I repeat, EVERY FREAKING DAY is just normal to happen.

To me now even it’s hard to talk to my childhood friends. We still share the same bond because we grew up together, but things changes as always. We are not living in the same neighbourhood, not attending the same uni, not working in the same corporation, and some of us are not even living in the same country. It’s just funny how things work (maybe) better back then during my parents time.

 

Sometimes I’m wondering what will happen to our friendship?

Would we be able to talk to one another and share what is happening in our life like today?

Or are we going to grow apart and will not work on our friendship?

 

It takes two hands to clap. If the one hand is not welcoming the other hand, then you’ll be hanging until the other one is ready. Well, it’s not really worth your effort if even after so many times trying your hand is not welcomed by the other one.

We may not remember what happened in 2017, but sure we will remember some of the good times!