It’s Not You! But …

We heard this a lot in a drama. Usually, it’s in a break-up stage. Actually, this can be applied everywhere don’t you think?

A month ago I attended an alumni event in my alma mater in which they offered several sessions there. I came in and was the only one who is not doing my honors, masters, or PhD there. They were talking about entrepreneurship, about how to take chances and develop something different, to be brave and offer your ideas to the market and to be a good consultant. Experiences are important for someone to work in a good company as it will be your asset. I have met some people who are super smart but they don’t have the required soft skills or they have great soft skills but they are not really experienced and not working in the related industry.

When you are assessing these, at times we hope everyone is balanced. The ideal situation would be those who are super smart should be experienced and are outstanding in using their skills. As for those who are not as bright, they should be able to work harder. I think it’s fair to have one aspect is stronger than the other and so you will be able to survive. If one has all the perfection then it’s not fair for those who are not doing so well.

Also on top of that, I realised how unique every individual is. Each person will have different knowledge, was exposed to different culture and even environment and norm as well as having different interest and also has different expertise. Everyone certainly has their own key skill. What I am interested in might be different from yours. You might think I am weird because our focus and interests are not aligned, and what I’m doing is different from yours. As for me, I might also think you are also different from me. That’s why I said every individual is unique. We are not supposed to label them and should embrace the differences.

Especially being at a quite young age and not fully developed, I think it is normal for us to not able to fully decide what do we want in our life. Do you still want to pursue the career you’ve always wanted or you came to realisation that it’s actually not the right path for you to take? It might not be something that you find your interest in. Even lots of people changed their major half way through. Some of them even are not doing in the industry. They prefer to do something else.

My cousin’s friend studied engineering and after she graduated she went to a cooking school and now she is a chef instead. She is happier cooking instead of doing the engineering stuffs. In our 20s or even 30s, we still have a lot of chances. We are given a lot of opportunities to really try out a lot of (good) things, and also even if we fail most of us will still find our way to get up and try again.

When we saw a problem, we are trying to fix it. Sometimes our way is not the best way. People in the market might perceive the idea differently and so our job is to take back our ideas and think about it again. Maybe a little twist would suffice? After making our revision, we could offer our idea to the market again and see if we actually worsen the situation or really giving a solution to the problem. Keep on doing that until people can truly receive your idea. Along the way, this process might discourage you. First rejection might spark your curiosity and you might want to know more and to improve then the first revision was made.


After the first rejection usually, the second third fourth fifth rejection would come and follow. Another revisions. At some point, after a lot of rejections, you will be discouraged. It is only normal and natural! Take a step back and re-assess the problem. Take a quick break and come back fresh. that’s when people usually will find the key to their problems.





What I learned, It’s NOT YOU. But it’s maybe your idea. It’s not about you personally. It’s not about how different you are. It’s not about your personality. Maybe just your idea is too remarkable. Your idea may not be something that can be easily accepted. Some twists needed perhaps?

Alsooooo, maybe it’s about the other party. A friend of mine gave me this video when we had our discussion about rejection.

Our idea of being rejected is mostly because of our personality. Because of the way we talk, because we lack in experiences, because our degree is not high enough. That’s not always the case!

Jia Jiang proved us that’s not because of us all the time. Sometimes because the idea is not suitable for other people to take it. For instance, take the flower example. He wanted to plant the flower at the guy’s house but he was rejected. The actual reason was not that of the sudden idea, but because the guy has a dog which the dog will ruin the plant. Instead, it would be better to plant it at the lady’s backyard as she loves flowers!

Sometimes behind the annoying rejection, there is a better reason not to do it. If we do ask why we will understand and not put the blame on yourself. Behind the reason why there might be a better idea to offer or a better place to apply your idea.

Keep on persisting if that’s what you really want to do. Especially if this idea will bring a good impact then why not? Keep on improving! Ask the reasons why and understand it so you will be able to offer a better proposal.



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