A Pair of Hand

Humans are given two hands to operate and live the life. However, not everyone is perfect. Some of them are only given one hand by God, and some lost their hands because of an accident or disease or other reasons, not given any.

Given the pair of hand given, it does make everything easier to handle compared to having only one hand or no hand at all. BUT, it is not a solid answer to say “those who are not ‘completed’ cannot do anything and are weaker than those who are completed”. Hey! I have seen a lot of people do even a lot better than normal humans! They created amazing artworks using their mouth or other parts of the body. Some of them even entered a Paralympic and won! They are great athletes, great artists, great human being. They inspired others through their disabilities and it is AMAZING!

These people even have a higher living spirit and strive to do even better and better and better. They keep on improving and keep on overcoming their challenges. I know everyone has their own story, has their own problems they have to encounter and solve. Unfortunately, most of the people take things for granted. We have two hands and a complete set of the human body but we are still complaining about life and give up easily.

Speaking of a pair of hand, I recently talked to my good friend that has been living together with me since 3-4 years ago. She has completed her bachelor degree, so CONGRATULATIONS to you girl! In the past, we argue a lot because both of us have a strong character. We had different opinions and when we look back to the first semester when we met, we are completely different persons now. We have changed, we grow together, we improve together, and we overcame our own problems too. We collided a lot and naturally, it just fell to its place and we became good friends.

We are both international students that came to Australia to study. Now both of us are graduated (she definitely passed the study requirements!), it feels different. We are having a different path that we have to take. We have to part our ways. It does not mean that in the future we cannot meet up or be involved in each other’s life. It’s just a bit hard because we are originally not from the same country and with a different environment, it will be hard to relate to one another and tell the stories.

I learned a lot from her and she also made me who I am today. Just recently we had a good late night talk and discuss where life would take us. I told her I wish we all could stay living near each other (and she is just living in a neighbouring country – not like she is living on the other side of the world LOL) and share stories and do what we’re currently doing. I know it’s unrealistic and I know it’s time for us to take a different route.

So here we are …

I asked her what it would be like in the next 5-10 years? Would our friendship still be the same? Would our current close friends in 2017 still be around in 2027? What our life would be by then? And she said, well it takes two hands to clap. If the other one is not making an effort to clap the other hand, then you are not able to make a clap. It’s the same as having a high-five.

You are there offering your hand to your friend to make a high-five but if you’re ignored then your hand will not be welcomed and your effort will be wasted down the drain. It’s the same as friendship. Good friends will stay no matter what. I can prove that. Another college friend went to the same uni but in a different country and up till now, we’re still friends and still share things. True it’s not as intense as before but both of us make the effort to keep the friendship and so we are still here.

No matter where life takes us if you are still making the effort to stay in touch with your mates, family members, and (ex) colleagues and the other party is also making the effort then clap together. Get that high-five! Pat each other on the back and say “hey friend, well done”.

*This post is dedicated to a good friend of mine. Thank you for the friendship. Lessons learned. Keep on improving. Keep on striving. Keep on smiling and enjoying the life like the way we are currently doing now. Goodbye is always hard and so here you go: Goodbye. Stay in touch and take care! 🙂

 

Do You Remember Me?

I went back home to visit my family when on one of the evenings I went to the nearest cafe and on the way home I met this childhood friend of mine. Our house is actually just 5 houses apart. We went to the same primary school and we were good friends until we completed our sixth grades. Starting from the year seven onwards until we finished our high school, we went to different school.

We also have different beliefs but it is not a barrier for us to be friends because diversity is great! Our parents also know each other as we’re neighbours. Once a year, we take turns to send a gift to respect each other especially during Hari Raya (the events celebrated by religious people such as Christmas, Eid Mubarak, Vesak, etc).

We grew apart because we never meet each other and because we did not attend the same school anymore, so we stop exchanging gifts. When I saw him, I was surprised at how he looks like. He looks the same as he did 10-15 years ago – it’s just his hair is now longer. I was wondering if he remembered me. True we were good friends but that happened when we were so young.

While I’m currently considered as someone from Generation Y, the situation is completely different from people from Generation X. Take my parents as an example, they are still close with their childhood friends though they are not living in the same area as they did when they were kids. They still hang out together just to have some meals together and catch up. Even the cohesiveness of the group is still very tight! Hundreds or even thousands notification appear from the group chat every day, I repeat, EVERY FREAKING DAY is just normal to happen.

To me now even it’s hard to talk to my childhood friends. We still share the same bond because we grew up together, but things changes as always. We are not living in the same neighbourhood, not attending the same uni, not working in the same corporation, and some of us are not even living in the same country. It’s just funny how things work (maybe) better back then during my parents time.

 

Sometimes I’m wondering what will happen to our friendship?

Would we be able to talk to one another and share what is happening in our life like today?

Or are we going to grow apart and will not work on our friendship?

 

It takes two hands to clap. If the one hand is not welcoming the other hand, then you’ll be hanging until the other one is ready. Well, it’s not really worth your effort if even after so many times trying your hand is not welcomed by the other one.

We may not remember what happened in 2017, but sure we will remember some of the good times!

Closing One Chapter

Usually, around this time of the year, I am very busy with a lot of things going on in my life. It’s starting since 2015 when I first joined the choir in my church, and ever since then, I started to sing regularly every Sunday.

Those people in the choir have become my friends, my family, and my shelter. I spend a lot of time with them and I don’t really mind doing work for them if it’s really necessary. Most of the time I will be with this second family as my family is back home.

During Easter, as a Catholic, we usually have what we call it a Holy Week. It’s that time of the year where we are preparing our heart and to mourn and “reborn” as a new and better person. Every single year, the admins will be exhausted to prepare everything to run smoothly. This year is no different and we prepared a trip to go to Gippsland in Victoria after Easter to bond with other members of the church.

As one of the organizers, my friends and I spent a lot of time together. We tested the game, keep on updating our budget and to get the timing correct for every single activity we were going to do there and prepare the food and logistics. While spending a lot of time with them frequently, there is an attachment feeling whereby it felt weird when I went back home again and be by myself again. I’m so used to wake up and see them straight away, or to have our meals together, or to queue to shower and brush our teeth.

It feels like we have to go back to reality, to deal with our assignments and works again. Though we end up trying to even stay back to have meals together whenever we can, it still feels a bit weird. Continue reading “Closing One Chapter”

Why you never ask?

A friend of mine visited me and we catch up till super late. It started with her asking me why I did not ask for her help when I needed her?

Since I was young, my parents told me to not bother other people and try to not give burden to others and I gotta be independent. Of course when I’m really struggling then I can ask for help.

One day, I with some friends were planning to have a BBQ party and we wanted to buy all the ingredients. It was a massive BBQ party for approximately 20 people so we were about to buy quite a lot of meat. Unfortunately, neither I nor this other friend is driving therefore, we asked another friend to drive us to the nearest shopping centre. However, the driver was late and our schedule was messed up a bit.

Later on that day, I told what happened earlier to my friend. Let’s just call her Apple.

She then said like this to me…

Continue reading “Why you never ask?”

part 1: friendship guidelines

Meeting new friends is something that I really like. I would love to be friends with as many people as I can. My preference is to know them personally and make this friendship really special for each and every person. However, that cannot always be the case. There are some people whom you know you are friends with, but may not be able to approach them personally. You’d say he/she is your friend but don’t talk a lot. You met a few times, yet still don’t know what they’re up to.

Some people prefer to have lots of friends (quantity) over having a close relationship with their friends (quality). I fall on the quality side. Knowing each one of them personally, makes me able to cherish the friendship even more.

Even though I am a girl, I don’t mind having guy and girl friends! Having a mix of both will create a good combination. Hey, why do we have to limit our friendship to only a certain gender, again?

Telling other friends that he/she is nice and you are expressing your thoughts mostly is considered dangerous and ambiguous. I learnt that expressing yourself is a good way so the other party will have a good understanding of what you’re thinking of them also how you truly value the friendship. However, the idea of expressing it to the opposite gender seems wrong in the society. Some of them think of it as a confession, whereas others – like me – only take it as a compliment.

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To me, a compliment is something that will make me keep on striving for the best.

To keep the best version of myself.

To keep on improving,

and to show others how I actually value the relationship.

Expressing and showing that you like being friends with them is not wrong. Telling them how nice they are as a person is not hurtful or dangerous. It’s like telling your family or loved ones that you really love them and cherish them in your life. Sounds so cheesy but that’s the truth, man. If you never show them your feelings and thoughts, then how are they going to understand you? No one can read your mind!!

Continue reading “part 1: friendship guidelines”